In part one of “Living Life Easier”, I talked about how your attitude could make a very big difference in the way that the staff of a restaurant treats you after they mess up your order. Part 2 relates how having a common sense attitude can possibly help you out when you mess up and get pulled over by a member of law enforcement.

Surprisingly, the story can be very similar. In almost all cases, it is the sole discretion of the officer whether he writes you a warning or a two hundred dollar citation. You might also be surprised how many times your attitude plays a significant role in how the officer decides to handle the situation, whether he even realizes it or not.

Even when a good attitude on your part doesn’t make the situation any better for you, always remember that a bad attitude can make things worse.

Contrary to popular belief, members of Law Enforcement are human, just like you and I. How do you feel about someone who gives you nothing but attitude when all your trying to do is your job? Does it change the way you deal with that person? Of course it does.

Most officers don’t expect you to shine their shoes but they do expect to be treated as well as they are trying to treat you.

Because of the danger that is inherent in so called routine traffic stops, most officers don’t pull people over for no reason, just to mess with them. It just doesn’t make sense from the officer’s point of view. So, if you’re being pulled over, chances are good that you either inadvertently did something wrong or the officer honestly thinks that you did something wrong. I won’t get into all the legalese of why it’s never a good idea for an officer to pull you over without “probable cause” but suffice it to say, it can cause him much more anquish than it can cause you.

If you do have occasion to see flashing lights in your rear view mirror, find the closest safe place to pull over and do so. Do not slam your brakes on and veer directly towards the ditch, you do not get extra points for how fast you can pull over and stop but you should do so as soon as you safely can.

Keep in mind that members of law enforcement get it drilled into their head how dangerous a position they are in when they make a traffic stop. It’s probably a bad idea to do a lot of reaching around under the seat or in the glove box before the officer approaches your vehicle, if you were him wouldn’t that tend to make you nervous?

The officer will usually do one of two things when he first approaches your window, he will ask you if you know why you are being stopped or he will simply ask for your license and registration. The first isn’t a trick question but feel free to tell him that, no, you do not know why he is pulling you over (even if you’re pretty sure that you do). He doesn’t really expect much of an answer to that question anyway. The second is a simply command that he has every right to make, so give him your license and registration.

If he tells you why you’ve been pulled over and you don’t feel he is correct, keep a civil tongue even if you choose to tell him you think he is wrong. A smart mouth won’t better your chances of getting that warning I talked about earlier, trust me.

Most officers will listen to reason if it’s presented to them in a calm and reasonable way. Of course, they may choose to ignore what you have to say and write you a citation anyway but if you’re going to try and talk your way out of a ticket, a bad attitude will get you no where fast. If it becomes obvious that your reasoning isn’t going to work, just relax and sign on the dotted line. The place to truly fight a traffic citation is in traffic court, not on the side of the road.

Talking your way out of a ticket rarely works if the officer has already made up his mind and arguing your way out of a ticket never works and sometimes costs you another ticket for something that he had already decided not to write you on. Don’t be dumb, he has handcuffs and a gun and you would much rather appear in front of the judge to fight a simple traffic citation than to be there because you lost your temper and did something stupid.

So once again, stop and take a deep breath, there are worse things than getting a ticket. If you were speeding or doing some other ticketable offense, why not use the experience as a wake up call to drive a little more conservatively, it might just save a life.

A short Introduction to “Living Life Easier”

Have you ever noticed how some people fight all the way through life, scratching and clawing their way just to make it through the day? If you’re not one of those people, chances are, you at least know one. But actually there is a little bit of that person in all of us and sometimes all we need is a reminder of the little things that make all the difference. That is what “Living Life Easier” is all about.

Hopefully, as time goes on and I run low on ideas for this series, some of you will step up and contribute some ideas or even guest blog a post or two. The whole idea is to remind each other that there’s lots of ways to live your life but some are a little kinder on yourself and those around you.

I am in no way one of those self help gurus that have all the answers but I don’t think it takes one of them to present a little common sense. Especially when I’m sitting here all comfortable, with music playing low in the background and it’s not me that just got served a well done steak that chews like shoe leather when it was most definitely ordered medium rare.

And now on with our show…

Does it seem like you always get bad customer service where ever you go? Every visit to the mechanic, every foray to the mall and every meal in a restaurant just leaves you with one more horror story to share with your friends and relatives?

Or, are you the person that gets a free dessert and much more personable service after the wait staff delivers the wrong food, cooked the wrong way? Chances are very good that the attitude you display when something goes wrong is a vital factor in how someone else’s mistake is handled.

I know, you’re thinking; I didn’t do anything wrong! They’re the ones that made the mistake! Why should I worry about being nice when I’m the one that got bad service?

Believe me, I follow your logic, I actually agree with you to a point but you have to decide whether its more important to you to make a big, dramatic, indignant display of your displeasure or whether you want to walk away at the end of the meal happy and content.

It’s always your choice how you handle a bad situation and that choice might just have bearing on how the people around you handle themselves and how they handle you.

If throwing that fit is the most important thing to you, then by all means, pitch a complete, over the top, crazy kind of fit. Give the staff in that restaurant a good “what for” that they’ll remember for the rest of their shift. Actually though, they will breathe a huge sigh of relief when you leave and probably forget all about you in ten minutes when the next rush of customers hit.

Of course, if you throw a big enough display of your displeasure, after you leave, all the wait staff will laugh at you for the rest of the night. Sorry, but that’s the way it is when you work in the restaurant business. I know from experience and that is exactly why, as soon as I was old enough to work at something else, I made myself a promise that I would have to be starving to ever go back to working in a restaurant. A promise I have kept until this day.

Remember the last time when you made a little mistake at your job? Some silly little screw up or something you forgot to do exactly the way the boss wanted it done? That’s exactly the same thing that is happening when you get the wrong food at a restaurant or it’s not cooked exactly the way you ordered it. No more and no less, you just happened to be the lucky one the waiter was serving when he made his mistake of the day.

The truth is that most wait staff does little more than take the order and deliver the meal. So, as long as the waiter wrote down your order right, most of the fault usually lies with the kitchen crew which catch very little of the flak for the confusion.

Let me clarify a couple things before we go any further, though. Should you stand up for your right to get the food you ordered, cooked the way you ordered it? Well, certainly; you’re paying the bill aren’t you? But how you handle yourself and your attitude usually makes a huge difference in how far a restaurant’s staff will go to please you.

If you’re a real jerk about it, you’ll be lucky if they’ll even replace your meal. And just so you know, refusing to pay for your meal is called “defrauding an innkeeper” and you can be arrested for it should the restaurant manager choose to call law enforcement.

Now though, if you’re a reasonable person that remembers that mistakes happen to all of us and have a little compassion for someone who’s having a bad day, you may be able to effect the way this whole scenario plays out.

First, don’t try and make the wait staff look stupid, it only makes you look ignorant.

Second, clearly state why you aren’t pleased with your meal before you eat more than a couple of bites. People who regularly try to get out of paying their check almost always wait until the meal is over. That is one of the reasons that a good waiter will check back fairly soon after you receive your food, to establish the fact that you are at least, satisfied over all and the meat was cooked as you ordered it. This is the time to bring complaints to his attention.

Third, calmly let the waiter know that you are displeased and that you expect some remedy to the situation. Chances are very good that the waiter will do what ever he can to make you happy.

Fourth, if there doesn’t seem to be anything he can do that will make you happy, ask for the manager. Calmly explain the problem to the manager and if you know what will make you happy, tell him. “I want my meal prepared over the way I ordered it.”, “I don’t think I should pay full price for a meal that was clearly not prepared the way I ordered it.” State your case and state it seriously but do it calmly and reasonably. Mention the fact that if you have to wait for them to prepare your food correctly, it will mean that either the rest of your party’s food will be cold or they will be finished eating by the time you receive yours.

Chances are real good that you will be offered free dessert for your party, a percentage off the cost of your meal, a percentage off the total bill or sometimes a gift certificate for your next visit. Or you could get all or any combination of the above items or nothing more than an apology. Most restaurants though, rely on repeat customers and word of mouth advertising.

Unfortunately, if all the wait staff seem to have lousy attitudes, chances are it won’t help to talk to the manager. Usually, if there is an over abundance of bad attitude, it started with the manager and worked its way down. The demeanor of the staff, as a whole, tends to reflect the demeanor of the manager.

So, bottom line is, stand up for yourself. You’re paying the bill and the restaurant should at least try to please you. But when standing up for yourself, do it with some compassion and calmness, your complaints will be taken much more seriously and there’s a much better chance that you will leave satisfied.

The other day we had the strangest thing happen to us and we are still trying to figure it out. We went to one of the big hardware/construction material kind of places to buy a dishwasher and an over the range microwave. I wasn’t real surprised when the dish washer was out of stock. Its just the law of averages in this type of situation, if you’re buying two things then one of them is bound to be out of stock. We were assured that it wasn’t that they just needed to order some more but that they didn’t keep very many units at the store, they could order it and have it delivered right to our door.

(These hard learned lessons will make the most sense if you read them with a decidedly southern accent.)